Ode to the Butenschoens

Tante Ilsabe and Onkel Timm

They were my Great Aunt and Uncle. Timm was my mother's mother's brother. The photo was not taken at a special occassion - they were always well dressed. I don't think I ever saw Onkel Timm in anything other than a suit.

I just found out from my mom that Tante Ilsabe died today [now, yesterday]- her body mercifully finally gave out to the cancer she had. Her husband Timm died just a few weeks before. They were lucky to live such long and wonderful lives (he was 91 and she 83) but their deaths are a tremendous loss, nonetheless. They were surrogate grandparents for me, as my mother's parents had both died young. I have so many memories of my numerous visits to them.

On my first visit to them at the age of seven, I was thrilled to see I'd be sleeping in a bed that pulled down from the wall. I was even more thrilled to find a Mars bar (they have those chocolate bars in the US too, right?) on my pillow. Subsequent visits I would always be thrilled with finding things exactly as they were before - treat on pillow and the house exactly as it was when I left. Now you all know where I get the treat/gift on the pillow thing from. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you need to visit!

As I got older, I was upgraded to the adult guest room. This was a huge thrill, there was a full sink, mirror, towel rack in one of the closets you open. How cool was that?

From their house, I will always remember the green bathroom, the separate toilet with the most frustrating trophy shelf, and the dangerous rolladen blinds that could make a room pitch black all day long. This was especially dangerous because they would always wait to have their breakfast until you came down in the morning. And in Germany, and esp in their house, you don't just waltz down in your pjs in the morning.

Eating always seemed to be the main activity at Tante Ilsabe and Onkel Timm's. The table was always beautifully set. They had two different main sets of china - blue and white or the yellow, blue and green one with fruit. Next to your plate you would find your cloth napkin, tucked into a cloth napkin "envelope" so that you would know which was yours at the next meal. I've tried to track down those envelopes in stores, with Tante Ilsabe's help, but they don't seem to make them anymore.

The fine dining was only interrupted with walks - through parks or through town to do some shopping - and make room for your next delicious meal. Tante Ilsabe did amazing work in her little red kitchen. She was so quick and made preparation and clean up always look so easy. I especially liked her homemade jam that was always to be found in the cupboard. She inspired my jam making. I was never able to replicate her apricot jam though. She had a little book where she kept a record of what she made when guests came to visit. I too have started this tradition of hers. My pregnant mouth absolutely waters at the thought of her meals.

When Chloe was born, I wanted them to know how much they meant to me across the ocean. Chloe's middle name is Ilsabe. Many of you have heard that "Chloe Ilsabe!!" said sternly. We last saw them two years ago so I'm happy both girls got to meet them at least once. I will so miss hearing lots of great stories of long ago and photographs from way before my time, or even my mother's. I must say goodbye to many generations with their deaths.

And finally, I'm sorry for my mother. Onkel Timm and Tante Ilsabe were the last family she had of the older generation. Yes, she has her sisters and brothers in Germany and France, but the generation before her is now gone. We will all miss them terribly.