Rough.

Yesterday was rough. It was one of those days that you know is bound to happen, and others have warned you about, but it didn't make it any easier. Even with my well timelined morning schedule for girls to get to school non rushed and happy, I wanted to cry as we walked to school out of pure frustration and feeling like my efforts are futile. Chloe is still Chloe. She has always been, and I'm sure always will be, sensitive to the way her clothes feel. That was a pain before, but we could just CHANGE her clothes and deal with it. That's not the case anymore. Your uniform is your uniform you have to wear it - even if the tights feel "funny" and the collar's not "right" and the you feel that your sized 9/10 jacket is too tight over your blazer. All those things cause frustration, but more importantly they take time and make us LATE. That might have been OK before - I could drive a little faster, hope for light timings and parking to be easy - but you can't do that when you are walking. You can only walk so fast - never mind the fact that fast walking only leads to more whining that I'm going too fast.

Plus, the whole day I just was lonely. Eugene works all the time and can barely find time to talk to me while at work. I don't have any friends yet and my good friends are all the way across the world and talking to them is hard - either because of the coordination of the time zones or just because it makes me miss them more, or because there is just nothing anyone can say to make me get a friend here. Finding good friends takes luck, effort and time, time, time. They take a while to bloom and now I'm still just looking for the seeds. The good news is that today I've just received three invites for "coffee" or "tea" but I could have used that yesterday.

And the house is still in chaos from the move - there is stuff everywhere - stuff that needs to be put somewhere else, to be organized or put together. Toys that are supposed to just be in the attic toy room, seem to end up where there is no place for them (plus as you read further you will see that unless I am IN the attic play room, no one is playing in it).

Then, Chloe has a good amount of homework (reading, spelling plus work that her tutor gives her) and getting her to do it is a nightmare. She fights it and it just makes me tired and frustrated - which turns me into a super mom of course. Again, one of those things that I'm sure we'll get into a routine with, but that doesn't make it easier now.

And to add to it, Euge is obviously working long hours. The girls look forward to seeing him for 1/2 hour at night before bed but twice this week I have to explain to them that they won't be seeing him. That is fun. Not only do I have to do it all myself, but I have to deal with them being upset about it. Never mind the fact that Sunday he leaves for Zurich again for three days and then the following week he'll be in NYC all week.

Plus, Chloe has this thing were she will only play or be where I am. She finally will play in the other room if I'm on the same floor (but will usually bring in what they're playing to be wherever I am). She gets into a panic if you go down/up without her. It's driving me nuts - she won't even do a quick run upstairs/downstairs to go get something that she needs. I won't go with her anymore (she is SIX AND A HALF) so little sister Mia is cheerfully saying "I'll go with you, Chloe." Well, apparently the fear finally wore off of Chloe and shared with Mia, as Mia had to pee but she wouldn't go alone, was waiting for me and then promptly peed all over the bathroom floor.

So, all of those things combined really put me over the edge. Well that's maybe more than I should share, but there it is. Eugene promises that he will be home to see the girls tonight so that's good. I'm feeling better today - I've had a good cry (and yell) - so now I'm just kind of depleted and exhausted.