Seven years have gone by. It seems both like a hundred years ago and just as vivid as yesterday.
I want the world to remember, but most especially the people of America. The day is sacred. No milk cartons, eggs or anything else should have September 11 as an expiry date. It is not just another day. The last two years, I wanted to scream out "Don't you people get it? Have you already forgotten?" It just seemed like it was just another day - for BBQs, fairs and even weddings. I keep getting emails about meetings/events going on tonight both here and in the US. It just seems wrong. We should of course still continue our day with work and school. But we should have time for reflection. At least a moment, people.
I often think of my grandfather and how dates of pearl harbor or d-day were important to him and how the rest of the world just went about their business, not even realizing the significance of the day. I hope that I managed to apologize to him for that before he died.
I'm obviously thankful that Eugene is fine (worked in the same tower that Pete's plane hit) and that life does go on, but I can't shake the pit in my stomach about his safety, and our safety, in the metropolis on London. One of the concerns we had in Salt Lake was that it is so homogeneously white. We thought exposure to different cultures and races would be a big plus of living in London. The truth is our school is super white, our neighborhood has one black family, in a sea of white. Euge reports the same white-ness at work. We are so isolated from diversity. It's still a segregated world. The only time I see Indian or Muslim faces is when I pass the mini-cab drivers, the dry cleaners, but mostly in sketchier areas, where I don't feel safe and that is a bad combo. Now I have a worse association.
Today I put some white roses (of innocence) in the vase that Pete and Sue gave us for our wedding. It pains me so, but I want them to know that although they are gone, taken violently, they are never forgotten. I never got the chance to thank them for the baby present for Chloe, that arrived on that very Sept 11th. I never got to meet little Christine, or them to meet Chloe - Pete had said there will be time, just get settled with the new baby and we will be down later this fall. But know that there isn't always time.
I always hoped that he really knew how much he meant to me - he was the big brother I never had. I loved him dearly and in fact told him that Eugene reminded me a bit of him (not just their curly hair or love of the Grateful Dead). I found great comfort when I found (a few months ago) the quote he put in the yearbook for his senior year (see end of post). His mom had long ago mentioned it to me, but I hadn't remembered it.
While we were in college (me at Boston U and Pete at Northeastern) we got to continue hanging out. He would always complain about my music as being too depressing and gave me a mixed tape of the Grateful Dead and other "happy" music as he called it. I labelled the tape "Pete's Dead and Happy." The thought of that label makes me sick. I know that he is dead and he WAS happy. We last saw Pete in April 2001 in San Francisco, we were living out there and he was out for a work. It will always put a smile on my face to remember him bouncy up the street with that big smile, wearing that fisherman hat. Thanks to Susannah's help, here is Pete's high school photo. You can go to their website
http://www.petehansonandfamily.com/
PETER BURTON HANSON
“Sometimes you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.” Well, here it is…senior year and time to say goodbye to many of you. Thanks to all those friends with whom I spent many hours on the road following our favorite band, the Grateful Dead. We had some great times and hopefully there will be many more to come, if Jerry stays in shape! ”Nothing’s for certain, things can always go wrong.” But hey Mr. Slais and Mr. Quinby, I sure did have a good time during all those hours in your offices. And thanks to teacher BM and to sophomore VH for your support of me! And to CR and AP, pizza! Fare you all well, I love you more than words can tell."
I want the world to remember, but most especially the people of America. The day is sacred. No milk cartons, eggs or anything else should have September 11 as an expiry date. It is not just another day. The last two years, I wanted to scream out "Don't you people get it? Have you already forgotten?" It just seemed like it was just another day - for BBQs, fairs and even weddings. I keep getting emails about meetings/events going on tonight both here and in the US. It just seems wrong. We should of course still continue our day with work and school. But we should have time for reflection. At least a moment, people.
I often think of my grandfather and how dates of pearl harbor or d-day were important to him and how the rest of the world just went about their business, not even realizing the significance of the day. I hope that I managed to apologize to him for that before he died.
I'm obviously thankful that Eugene is fine (worked in the same tower that Pete's plane hit) and that life does go on, but I can't shake the pit in my stomach about his safety, and our safety, in the metropolis on London. One of the concerns we had in Salt Lake was that it is so homogeneously white. We thought exposure to different cultures and races would be a big plus of living in London. The truth is our school is super white, our neighborhood has one black family, in a sea of white. Euge reports the same white-ness at work. We are so isolated from diversity. It's still a segregated world. The only time I see Indian or Muslim faces is when I pass the mini-cab drivers, the dry cleaners, but mostly in sketchier areas, where I don't feel safe and that is a bad combo. Now I have a worse association.
Today I put some white roses (of innocence) in the vase that Pete and Sue gave us for our wedding. It pains me so, but I want them to know that although they are gone, taken violently, they are never forgotten. I never got the chance to thank them for the baby present for Chloe, that arrived on that very Sept 11th. I never got to meet little Christine, or them to meet Chloe - Pete had said there will be time, just get settled with the new baby and we will be down later this fall. But know that there isn't always time.
I always hoped that he really knew how much he meant to me - he was the big brother I never had. I loved him dearly and in fact told him that Eugene reminded me a bit of him (not just their curly hair or love of the Grateful Dead). I found great comfort when I found (a few months ago) the quote he put in the yearbook for his senior year (see end of post). His mom had long ago mentioned it to me, but I hadn't remembered it.
While we were in college (me at Boston U and Pete at Northeastern) we got to continue hanging out. He would always complain about my music as being too depressing and gave me a mixed tape of the Grateful Dead and other "happy" music as he called it. I labelled the tape "Pete's Dead and Happy." The thought of that label makes me sick. I know that he is dead and he WAS happy. We last saw Pete in April 2001 in San Francisco, we were living out there and he was out for a work. It will always put a smile on my face to remember him bouncy up the street with that big smile, wearing that fisherman hat. Thanks to Susannah's help, here is Pete's high school photo. You can go to their website
http://www.petehansonandfamily.com/
PETER BURTON HANSON
“Sometimes you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.” Well, here it is…senior year and time to say goodbye to many of you. Thanks to all those friends with whom I spent many hours on the road following our favorite band, the Grateful Dead. We had some great times and hopefully there will be many more to come, if Jerry stays in shape! ”Nothing’s for certain, things can always go wrong.” But hey Mr. Slais and Mr. Quinby, I sure did have a good time during all those hours in your offices. And thanks to teacher BM and to sophomore VH for your support of me! And to CR and AP, pizza! Fare you all well, I love you more than words can tell."
7 comments:
I want to say something profound, but my keyboard is getting wet. Hugs to you - Christy
Like every year, I woke up this morning thinking of you and Eugene and also of Pete and his family. Words cannot describe the feelings that catapult from loss to fear to anger. But perhaps the tears streaming down my face say what words cannot.
Sending love across the pond...
Vanessa, I didn't realize how close the tragedy September 11th hit you and your ones. I echo those who commented before, I don't have anything profound or wise to say, but I have been touched by your words and by those of Pete's mother. My heart still aches for all that was lost on that day.
I thought about you all day yesterday. I can completely understand how difficult it must be to realize not everyone has your perspective on Sept. 11. Through the whole 7 degrees of separation thing, I can get a slight inkling of what that day means, but really, there's no way for me to know. I had no direct connection (thankfully!.) So you have forever linked me to something I previously didn't really "get" -- and that's how we don't forget it, don't you think? Beautiful blog!
I remember mom telling me the Eugene worked in one of the towers and being so relieved for your family that he was safe. But I never stopped to think that likely meant he (and likely you) lost people you knew and cared about.
9/11 is my birthday - and I must say that the tone of the day has changed since that day 7 years ago.
I tried to call you last Thursday, but for some reason (deja vu?), couldn't get through. I wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you all and remembering that horrible day and the aftermath.
I was thankful that it was overcast and foggy here on Sept 11th. A brilliantly blue sky would have been too hard to deal with.
The Sept 11 memorial opened at the Pentagon and I'm trying to muster the courage to go. I hear it's quite stirring. Shiny benches for each of the Pentagon victims, with small pools of water below. The paper reported that the designer was happy to see kids playing around the memorial.
love to you all,
Rebecca
Now every year I will have friends to think of. I had no idea.
It's frustrating to me as well that people seemingly ignore the day. This year I grudgingly attended a Boy Scout meeting on Sept. 11th. However, I was touched when the first order of business was a moment of silence for those lost and those who lost loved ones.
Thank you for sharing your story. It still matters.
Love you.
Aina
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