Privilege and Help

You've probably figured out that we live in a very privileged area. Most of Chloe's friends live in homes that are valued at over £2 million (that'd be $4million folks). At least half the families have their own weekend/country home and the other half have family that do. Lord knows that's what makes living in the city with children livable. Then about a quarter of the families have multiple homes - in addition to the house in the country, they have a ski house in the alps, a house in Spain or Portugal, or in the south of France. It's quite an alternate reality. They take two-week family vacations between terms (there are three) to exotic or at least hot destinations. These include Spain, Portugal, Greece, Turkey, Bahamas, Oman, some islands near Africa, and some places I'm embarrassed to say that I've never heard of. The wives and kids stay longer - most somewhere 3-5 weeks before going on to another week somewhere. Most folks jet the day school gets out or within two days. Especially during the summer, few stay in London at all. A week after the girls got out of school, there was officially no one left to play with.

On another note, everyone has help. Not just a house cleaner, mind you. But about half the families have full time live-in help - called nannies - (these moms don't work outside the home), the other half is divided into full time live out help, and live-in part time help. Only a few small percentage have only a house cleaner. So many moms asked me when I'm getting an au pair, with the new baby coming. I explain, that although we have the room, I like to keep it available for guests and that to be honest, I don't want to have anyone living in my house. We are short on space as it is! I have to admit, in the past months, I've taken advantage of all these au pairs looking for extra work, but not to watch the kids really. Just deal with the house. It's quite the set up really. The families that have live-in aupairs (get room and board) that are paid only £50-70 a week and they work from 7-9/10 every morning and help with breakfast, clean up kitchen - unload dishwasher, clean up breakfast, vacuum, straighten up and do some ironing or fold laundry. Then they work again from 3-7 to be there to help with dinner time, clean up, and bath time. Help is very easy to find as there are a plethora of eastern Europeans looking for work, and because most of the husbands do work loads are not around. I will say that often many have either not been exposed to modern conveniences or are not the sharpest tack in the box. I've had my dishwasher loaded with the glasses precariously balanced, loose on the bottom rack as if you'd set them on the counter (with the open end up) and if they help unload the groceries I've had unopened pantry items like salad dressing, mustard and CANNED GOODS stocked into my (mini) fridge!

That said, three weeks ago, we decided that instead of looking for a weekend country rental, we would hire someone dedicated to help me. The twice a day school runs of a twenty minute walk each way, was just getting too much for me with my ability/energy level falling and my stress level rising. It's been wonderful. Klaudia is from Poland, but speaks English perfectly, is sweet, smart, and doesn't want a live in job because she lives with her boyfriend. It's costing a pretty penny for she is working about 20 hours a week, but it's so great. She comes most mornings at 8am to help me get the kids out the door and I do the school run with them while she tidies kitchen, makes beds, etc. On those mornings, I come home to a tidy house and it's so so so nice. Then most afternoons, she does the afternoon school run and helps take turns with me to keep Mia occupied while I do homework with Chloe and vice versa. She helps set the table, cleans up kitchen and helps with bath or just getting their jammies on. AND she is helping me finish "moving in" - things that have been left standing since December and help me accomplish some of my nesting needs. Heaven or what? No wonder so many women have this help - makes you a much nicer mommy - esp when you are nine months pregnant! I so feel it on the mornings or afternoons she's not here!!